I found a very nice affordable room in Jaipur. Air conditioning, nice bed, TV, nice bathroom, all for 600 rupees, what luxury. By this point in my trip I have given up home that going from one city to the next will reveal wondrous sites and experiences with locals and travelers. So, I decided that I don’t care to see anything in Jaipur and that I want to relax, sleep and eat. The first night when I arrived I stayed in the hotel until the middle of the next day. But I thought by then that I should at least see the couple of notable monuments in the city, this is the capital of Rajasthan after all and its palace must be splendid. It sucked. After fighting off the typical hassle (I’ve gotten better at it) I entered what seemed to be a late attempt by a maharajah to build a fancy palace for himself to host mostly European visitors and for him to relax after his polo games. The thing about buildings like this in India is that they look older than they are and many tourists never realize that “no ma’am this is not a medieval building this is actually about a century or two old.” not that older buildings are more valuable, I am the last person to make such an argument but this building and many that replicate it all over the state offer nothing new. They recycle by then standard European conceptions of “palace” and get rid of the expensive detail, add a few arches and paint some walls red, add a peacock and you got a Rajasthani palace. Anyhow, the building itself is not what bothered me, since we are not allowed into most of it because the royal family of Rajasthan still live there. What really bothered me was how evident it had become that his was essentially a state-sponsored tourist trap, a royal scam. Inside there are “galleries” with “the best craftsmen” in Rajasthan selling miniature paintings and other crafts from the region. Each seller offers exactly what the one next to him has, even though they each claim that they are the best. The prices are exuberant but tourists are to be comforted by the printed sign that reads “prices fixed” presumably by the tourism authority. Miniature paintings, which were the only thing that interested me, ranged form 1000 to 5000 rupees. That is $20-100. This seemed a bit expensive but I decided to buy one for myself, particularly that they had some painted on old sheets from the Jaipur court records. They must have destroyed their archive and given the papers away to craftsmen to paint on them. By showing that I am interested I have committed the biggest mistake a shopper can make in India. Instead of getting one I left the place with four and with a credit card charge that I had preferred not to sign. As soon as I stepped out of the building and into the sun I realized that I was scammed and that I have four instead of one. “I would never hang more than one anyway, that would be so tacky!” frustrated with my foolishness I walked grudgingly around the unremarkable palace and made an exit.
Next door is Jantar Mantar, a collection of astrological instruments built from brick and stone. This was a bit interesting and bizarrely inefficient. Most of the instruments work with shadow but it was an overcast day as it is the pre-monsoon season. Without shadow instruments useless.
I as I was leaving the whole area thinking to myself “I should have never left my hotel,” a bike rickshaw man convinces me to go with him on a ride around the city for 20 rupees an hour, terribly cheap and I should have known there is more to it. as usual the man was interested to learn what my religion is, I think it is because i look Indian but not quite that they feel the need to ask. He was wearing sunglasses hiding his right eye that appears to have the kind of disorder that makes it look milky. he was also wearing a Muslim hat and when he learned i was "Muslim" too he seemed to act as though we know each other. he insisted that he would not be bad like the other guys. He asked me what I bought, my bag with the paintings is showing, and I told him. He said “you should never buy in palace, I take you to my friend he has good price.” I said no thank you I already bought some. This was no use, I was held hostage by another rickshaw and I knew what was coming. We went to his friend’s house where he has his own makeshift shop in his living room, he showed me his work including some terribly painted erotic miniatures. I was pissed to learn that his prices were half of what I paid, although I didn’t see any that I would have bought. Still, with the expert Indian pressure and wanted to just get out of there ASAP, I was conned into buying even more. At this point I was thinking “India has made me hate travel all together.” I was then taken to a “gem stone” shop and a jeweler. I told all of them that I hate shopping and that the only reason I am in their shop is because the rickshaw guys wants his commission. The shopkeepers looked at me as if I am stating the obvious. As we were riding back we passed a group of rickshaw wallahs, and one of them knew my guy. He seemed worried for me and told me "be careful, he is bad man." I thought to myself "I know but its too late." The other wallah clearly hated mine, he said "he is bad man, if you take him to your house he will fuck your wife when you're not looking," as he made a gesture with his hands illustrating the "fuck" part of his statement. this was all funny but it was too late to receive the warning, i had already fallen victim.
Finally back in my hotel and relaxed. I was in no rush to leave again. It was nice to realize that I was on vacation and I really don’t need to be running around everyday looking for sites and experiences. There is nothing wrong with just sitting in my comfy clean room and watch a Bollywood movie or a cooking show, which is exactly what I did for the rest of the night.
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